Recovery

Sorry we have not posted anything for a while again.  Every day in Korea was full of experiences, so much we could share.  But we were kept busy from morning till bedtime either with activities or finding food, or some other event that was once in a life time.  With limited internet access, the computer just didn't get out of the drawer very often.  We had been warned that it often takes longer to adjust to the time change back to the states than it was to go to Korea.  We found that to be true.  It has been a week now since our return and I am still not sure that jet lag has been conquered!


A bit of information that we were told before we went to Korea, concerning the search for birth moms.  In Korea, if a girl had a baby and gave it up for adoption, and later got married, her husband would usually automatically divorce her if he ever found out.  If there were any kids in that marriage, they would usually go to an orphanage because the mom couldn't support them, and the dad would not ask his next wife to raise them, so they would be abandoned.  We all needed to consider that as we thought about searching for birth families.


Let me share one of the special moments from Korea.  It is hard to pick one, but this one rises to the top of our memories.  We visited Esther's Maternity Home.  After a welcome ceremony and a tour of their facilities, we shared some time with some moms living there.  We were seated in a chapel, the pregnant girls sitting where a choir might sit off the to right side of the front.  The adoptees were seated in the front of the sanctuary and us parents behind them.  We had a chance to ask questions of each other through an interpreter.  After a bit of tension as we figured out the process, discussion began.  I think we were all in tears, for sure the girls and us parents, the whole time.  The girls were struggling with shame, and embarassment, but also filled with compassion for their babies and concern for their future.  They asked us questions like: If you have biological children how is a Korean baby accepted by the family? How would you feel if a birth mom looked for her child later or the child searching for their birth mom? Do you use their Korean names in America? Do you teach them about Korea? and (directed to the adoptees) If your birth mom got married and had other kids would you want them to know about you?  This last question caused some tense moments, none of the kids seemed to be able to understand the question or answer it.  Finally Bekkah took the microphone and said something like this: "We would like them to know, but we understand the price the birth mom could have to pay for that. If she would lose her chance at a family, that is not right. I think we feel that the birth moms gave us a second chance at a life, so we should also give her a second chance.  So we understand and feel okay about the family not knowing about us."  That was a very proud moment for Dan and I.


It was a wonderful chance for us to picture what our child's birth mom went through, for the birth moms so see the way the kids are loved and embraced in our families, for questions to be answered.  We ended our time there receiving a handmade book mark from the girls, and we were able to thank them and hug them.  We did all we could to share our love and concern for them.  I will never forget the view of them waving goodbye to us on our bus, some crying more, some smiling more.  I continue to pray for them.


We are at a cottage on Silver Lake in Michigan now.  We have a lot to process, some still from our time in Colorado and also what we experienced in Korea.  I plan to write a few more posts in the next few weeks.  We are anxious to share our experiences with you and show you some pictures!  Praying you are all well in the midst of the intense heat that the midwest is enduring.


Trusting our Faithful God
Renee'